That mustard episode

I don’t know what happened, man. But it’s super shitty. This state is the worst. I feel like puking, but without the puking, you know? It’s silly, don’t mind me. I will get over it in a couple of hours. Probably. Maybe. I hope. Maybe I’ll just die. Kidding, honey. Don’t make that face. You’re so cute. Will you do something for me? I just feel like eating something. I had a bacon sandwich in the morning, but it was kinda gross. Now I’m hungry and I would like a nice meal. Would you go downstairs and get some food from that Mega? I want two or three potatoes, a few eggs, hummus and peanuts. Or walnuts. No, peanuts. No, I don’t feel like eating bread or vegetables. I just want what I told you. Oh, and sauce. Maybe some mustard. Or that special one that’s white and has garlic in it. What do you mean it’s not good for me? You’re so silly. You, Romanians, are so superstitious. Nothing is going to happen to me, honey, trust me. In fact, I will feel better. No, I don’t want fruit; you can buy some if you feel like eating fruit. Just go already, I’m starving. Don’t stay too long, go to the one that’s the closest. I will play a cartoon while you’re out. Man, I feel so shitty. This sucks. Maybe I’ll puke, after all. I know, it’s gross, but, hey, it’s part of the human nature. Just like hunger. Please bring that mustard. Don’t try to trick me. If you don’t bring it, I will just eat the old one that has been in the fridge since… probably ever. Don’t be hysterical, darling. The sauce has nothing to do with indigestion. You made that up. Who cares about Google? What does Google know, anyway? Just go. I am shutting the door in your face right now. No, honey, I didn’t mean it like that. You’re so nice. I will make it up to you. But not today. Today I am just so fucked up. We can do something fun tomorrow. Whatever you want, you can pick the place. Or you can stay naked in my room for the next two days and watch silly cartoons with me.

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